5/3

So this is technically posting on 5/4 because it's after midnight here.

It's Saturday, so I didn't have to get up for work today. So we're lying in bed, and I',m trying to cuddle. No dice. She gets up and hops on ebay.

All day before she has to go to work at 3:30 - Nothing. She just sat watching TV all day. When I did go to kiss her, she rejected my advances and kind of just sucked on my tongue, or lied there, goofing around. Ugh, thanks.

She came home from work, and we did shower together. Hope!

But the shower came and went, no interest what so ever.

She got out of the shower and decided to start playing online poker. Now I'm posting this. About to go to bed. I wonder how long I can hold out.


Okay, so blog readers probably have two obvious questions right now:

1) Why don't I make the first move?

Because I did that for months and months. And all it got me was lots of rejection, and more frustration, and frankly guilt.
I want to see if not pressuring her makes any difference.

2) Why not just jerk off and leave the poor girl alone if she doesn't want it? Stop obsessing over it!

She doesn't like that/ She likes for me to cum quick when we do have sex. It's an ego thing for her, it makes her feel good. I often have trouble getting off quick even if it's been a while. If it hasn't been a while, forget it. I can go all night if I want.

Secondly, I don't *want* to. I want to hold out for her. I just wish she wanted to...